Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
