The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
