Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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