Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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