is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
