feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
