Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
