the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I need help removing her.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
