Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
