brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
we're chasing vodka with high fives
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Randomize
