Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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