I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
