Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
