Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
