I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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