i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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