If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
