he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
