Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
