EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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