I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
