remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
