Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
