The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
