Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
