The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
