I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
