i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
