Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
This toilet bowl is my home.
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