belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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