Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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