I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Who did Billy Mays play for?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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