Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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