their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
