The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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