I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
