You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
