How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize