I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
