Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
