He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
