hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
