Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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