i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
