All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize