She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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