My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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