p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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