I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
