Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
